New Year, New What ?

Hey Guys,

It’s 2017 already, can you believe it ? I can haha it seems that the older I get the quicker things go. I am starting 2017 still as a uni student. Just can’t let it go haha.

This year though I gave up resolutions instead to think about goals I would Like to achieve in the 12 months of this year. Big life changing goals as well as some smaller goals.

This Year I really want to focus on myself and loving and accepting my flaws, and strengths as equal parts of who I am and working them to my advantage.. so like a year of self awareness.

I would love to know what everyone has decided for their New Years Resolutions ? let me know in the comments. I have some wicked adult only content planned for this year, as well as continuing my lessons in my 20’s series, so you guys have some cool stuff too look forward too.

In the mean time you can find me on:

Instagram

Keep Creating Yourselves xx

WTF is FWB

 

save-the-date

 

Friends with Benefits (FWB) is a common label given to friends who also sleep together, or two people sleeping together that don’t want to commit. Sounds great right? well as movies like Friends with benefits (Mila Kunis and Justin Timberlake) and No Strings attached (Ashton Kutcher and Natalie Portman) can tell you its just not that simple (both movies are on Netflix).

You have to balance that fine line between friends and couple, you sleep together and you hang out and have fun together. My girl friend and I were having a conversation about this recently and we decided that there are two main reasons shit goes sour (this is from a girls perspective and for girls sorry guys).

  1. Girls over think and Over analyse everything even the small shit, and really it doesn’t get us anywhere
  2. We have different Ideas and expectations from things E.G. cuddling is fine after sex I don’t see a problem with it but cuddling holding hands and falling asleep on each other chests or in each others arms for me is crossing that little friendship line, where as for a guy there just being nice and hopefully trying not to root and boot you.

Now of coarse this isn’t all girls or guys, however the majority of girls I have spoken to feel that they fall faster than the guys and get attached quicker. We analysed (over thought) the reasons we get attached to the guys around us

They kiss or cuddle you, you have a level of comfort

They say shit that we think is cute and sweet

Now this one is difficult, they whisper cute, dirty or romantic shit while your sleeping together, now i know this shit can be beneficial during sex but it is also fucking confusing.

In saying all this we developed a list of our tips that we are going to try out and see how we go;

  • Don’t put all of your spare “guy ” time into your FWB, keep your eyes open for opportunity and mr right ( I guarantee your FWB is doing the same)
  • Have clear boundaries on what you guys are, and don’t be scared to enforce them on yourself or him
  • Don’t turn down a nice guy for your FWB, because at the end of the day the guy you turned down could be the right one and you wasted it on some cringe Fuckboy.
  • Stick with your girls, they will be able to tell you when shit is getting real if they know you well enough and they can bitch slap or just pull you out of that sinking hole of feelings. Lock that shit down is my best friends phrase for when she knows things aren’t going well for me in that department.

We are going to give this list a go, if you have any FWB stories please share them in the comments or email me at kahlia.anelise@live.com.au with the subject FWB. If you have any tips please also leave those, so me and my girls can give them a go!!

if you don’t want to comment or email you can find me;

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Twitter ❤ 

In the mean time Keep creating yourselves

xx

My last post 

A Related Post 

Friendship Lessons in my 20’s

I am in my 20’s now and I keep learning new things about life every day. One of the biggest things I have learnt since moving from my teens to my 20’s is about friendship.

vintage-gay-weddingsfor-your-inspiration

I am going to tell you the top 5 things I have learnt about friendship in my 20’s

  1. Not everyone wants to stick around; there are friends that will remain in your life forever, like boomerangs while there are friends that you will make and they will be great for a period of time and then they will leave (I am planning a post on what to do after a friendship break up soon).
  2. People don’t fit with your life path. Don’t feel bad if some friends just don’t fit with where you are going or how busy you’ve become, if they want to stick around they won’t go anywhere just because you have new opportunities and a busy schedule.
  3. People don’t always value what you value. This one is hard because you will meet friends and think they are the greatest people and then as you spend time with them you’ll realise they don’t have the same values as you and that can be difficult.
  4. Communication is key. We aren’t teenagers anymore, and communicating with friends is important in keeping the relationship on the same page. Don’t be afraid to talk it out with your friend if something isn’t right.
  5. Be yourself, in your 20’s you’re still figuring shit out. You are not expected to have all the answers or know everything and you shouldn’t, but you should remember that if something doesn’t feel right to you it probably isn’t right and you should listen to yourself.

These are my top 5 lessons that I have learnt in 20’s around friendship. I have made and lost a lot of friends since, beginning university and working and then some have remained from teenage years but the dynamics have changed, which is a good thing because it means that we are growing. Don’t be afraid to put yourself out there and make and lose friends this is the best time to create memories and learn from experiences.

 

Keep creating yourselves

xx