Friends with Benefits (FWB) is a common label given to friends who also sleep together, or two people sleeping together that don’t want to commit. Sounds great right? well as movies like Friends with benefits (Mila Kunis and Justin Timberlake) and No Strings attached (Ashton Kutcher and Natalie Portman) can tell you its just not that simple (both movies are on Netflix).
You have to balance that fine line between friends and couple, you sleep together and you hang out and have fun together. My girl friend and I were having a conversation about this recently and we decided that there are two main reasons shit goes sour (this is from a girls perspective and for girls sorry guys).
- Girls over think and Over analyse everything even the small shit, and really it doesn’t get us anywhere
- We have different Ideas and expectations from things E.G. cuddling is fine after sex I don’t see a problem with it but cuddling holding hands and falling asleep on each other chests or in each others arms for me is crossing that little friendship line, where as for a guy there just being nice and hopefully trying not to root and boot you.
Now of coarse this isn’t all girls or guys, however the majority of girls I have spoken to feel that they fall faster than the guys and get attached quicker. We analysed (over thought) the reasons we get attached to the guys around us
They kiss or cuddle you, you have a level of comfort
They say shit that we think is cute and sweet
Now this one is difficult, they whisper cute, dirty or romantic shit while your sleeping together, now i know this shit can be beneficial during sex but it is also fucking confusing.
In saying all this we developed a list of our tips that we are going to try out and see how we go;
- Don’t put all of your spare “guy ” time into your FWB, keep your eyes open for opportunity and mr right ( I guarantee your FWB is doing the same)
- Have clear boundaries on what you guys are, and don’t be scared to enforce them on yourself or him
- Don’t turn down a nice guy for your FWB, because at the end of the day the guy you turned down could be the right one and you wasted it on some cringe Fuckboy.
- Stick with your girls, they will be able to tell you when shit is getting real if they know you well enough and they can bitch slap or just pull you out of that sinking hole of feelings. Lock that shit down is my best friends phrase for when she knows things aren’t going well for me in that department.
We are going to give this list a go, if you have any FWB stories please share them in the comments or email me at firstname.lastname@example.org with the subject FWB. If you have any tips please also leave those, so me and my girls can give them a go!!
if you don’t want to comment or email you can find me;
In the mean time Keep creating yourselves