Have you ever reached a point in your life or in a portion of your life that you just don’t know what to do anymore, where you’re going? You had everything all mapped out and then out of nowhere that’s not the road you want to go down, that is how I am feeling right now.
Last year I had this plan and I had everything mapped out the way it was going to go and how I was going to get there and in the last two weeks I have found myself hating parts of that plan cutting them left right and centre, my heart just isn’t in it all the things that we’re working before aren’t working now. I don’t really understand this position because I don’t even exactly know what I want at the moment I just seem to know what I don’t want, which isn’t really being helpful.
I am not an overly negative person I like to live off vibes and feelings around me but lately I have been feeling different kinds of vibes, I have started different things in my life and I can feel little parts of me changing and developing as I am faced with different situations and yet I feel like some of the people around me aren’t growing or changing with me, or that they aren’t changing at all may actually be the underlying problem.
Everything is really new for me at the moment, exciting and demanding with university and the qualification I am trying to get things are tightly stretched and any time I can have to myself to do things I like is a gift which Is rare at the moment, back to the issue, I really am confused about how I am feeling right now because I keep changing my mind on the end result of what specific area I would like to go into, what foods I really don’t like, how I feel about the colour blue and what style I am going for, all of these things seem trivial I know but its right down to the classes my mind is changing every couple of minutes to new things I want to try and then reasons I can’t do those things and even in the relationships I have with people, these things are rushing through my head and changing rapidly and it feels like all that planning and mapping was really just a waste of time because I am back in wavy unknown waters were I am paddling to find a place where I can stand catch my breath and then paddle some more until I find that right wave to ride home and finish the day.
So now that I have rambled about being completely lost in the sea of my thousand mile an hour thoughts, you guys should let me know how you cope when your feeling a little stressed/confused or lost in life?
From my bed to your screen- until next time
Keep creating yourselves