I see a lot of questions and social media posts going around about perfect relationships and how they are attainable, I am by no means a relationship Councillor however I have been in a long distance relationship for over a year and a half now and I have also kept previous relationships for generally over the 12 month mark anything in between to me was either not worth calling a relationship or simply an experience that has helped me gather my knowledge.
I picked questions that I found interesting and thought you would find interesting; if you have differing opinions or other helpful hints then strike up a discussion in the comments.
Why do people cheat?
almost every person has cheated at some point in there life and if you haven’t then you most likely will, and if you never do or never have you sir and madam are one heck of a good person. People generally cheat when they are unsatisfied or unfulfilled in their current situation ( Take note I said SITUATION not relationship) this means that something in their life is not working out for them or they are feeling unsatisfied with it, That does not mean you should feel the need to over compensate or change yourself especially since it may not be you that is the problem, you should always be yourself and if a person cheats then really just pick yourself up and walk on because seriously they need to work on other areas of their life before they are ready to accommodate someone as amazing as you!
they could also have commitment issues in which case I send you straight back to my last statement.
Who is to blame when you fight?
Okay so from my experience No one, I don’t think you are going to get very far blaming each other, people tend to disagree because we are different and we believe and enjoy different things.. so we will at some point in every relationship not see things the same way, in this situation best bet is to figure out what works for you; My partner and I disagree on things at least once a month we will have a debate about something and I mean it could just be who should play anniken in the new star wars, yes we do disagree on shit like that constantly however I know that in like ten minutes he is going to be over it and he knows that if he says something that really upsets me that a simple sorry and are you okay? will make it better.
now if we get into an actual fight or argument which I think we have maybe once in that circumstance we just yelled at each other and both spoke our piece until we were over it and on the same page again.
My advice would be to find what problem solving works for you and always be able to talk about things that are bothering you.
If one half of a relationship seems to be consistently starting fights for the point of fighting I refer you to the end of question 1.. pick up your awesome ass and move along, you will be more awesome and a lot happier for it.
Why do relationships fail
relationships can fail for many of reasons things such as timing, age, experience and just simply because that was not your path in life, It sucks when things don’t work out and it doesn’t matter which side of it your own dumper or dumpee either side is hard and it hurts either way unless you are heartless and soul-less in which case carry on and find someone just like you.
I think ultimately when relationships fail it is because something better is getting ready to come in like a wrecking ball on your life so enjoy the quiet before miley comes flying through your bedroom wall.. always remember though you are the bomb and your only going to get more awesome and more lovable as you get older and someone is going to appreciate that you can recite every word from frozen.
Can long distance relationships work?
Yes and again yes.
People seem to think that physically being with someone is like the be all and end all well just because I feel like using Ironic examples if two people can wait till after marriage to be physically intimate two people who love and adore each other can manage a time span away from each other. However if you are going into a long distance relationship keep in mind it is most definitely not easy street you have to have a few things in place before you take this separate adventure things like trust are super important if you don’t trust the person you are dating and they are miles away I think there is a problem, or at least there will be you will drive yourself nuts with worry about what they are doing and it totally is not worth having mental breakdowns over if you are that person again take your awesomeness and find someone closer to home.
If you can pass the trust step awesome but there is another LOYALTY this is important because that person needs to be able to trust you and no relationship distance or not is going to work if you are not a loyal son or daughter of a byatch.
If you can trust and be loyal then you pass, go ahead with it but be strong and prepared remember to speak to them often and keep communication lines open and if you are dieing to see each other organize a meet up even for a short time it will totally help.
remember it is not forever, you are working towards a goal or a time when you can be together when you have your doubts focus on that.
Isn’t jealousy a way to know they care ?
answer these few questions for yourself and you’ll have your answer
does there “jealousy” stop you from being you?
does it borderline on controlling?
are you worried about what they will think 24/7?
if you answered yes to any of these questions then I would say No it is not a way to show they care about you it is a serious issue that will send there and your hair grey prematurely… drive to the next window..
How do you manage the moving in conversation and when ?
when is up to you as each persons relationships differ, you could move in together after six or twelve months or after three though I don’t recommend moving in after three months.
I had a boyfriend live with me once we hadn’t been together very long and so our relationship failed after living together for what was i think about 4 months, he cheated which was wonderful and of coarse I was too much of a nice person to leave him on the streets so I let him live with my friend and I regardless he is the one ex that I would still king hit if I ever see the bastard in the street. I put this down to the fact I was young and stupid and we went way to quickly into something that no one was ready for.
so when looking at the whole time to move in thing though I don’t want to set any limits just make sure you are both 100% on it and comfortable.
now to the actual conversation I think if you are ready to move in together you should be comfortable talking about it and just keep an open mind about whether they may find that a scary next step, they do say all your flaws show when you live with someone, so don’t be offended if they just aren’t ready. I would also suggest not taking on a full on so we are going to live in this house.. and have this couch and this and that kind of approach as it may put some people off just saying, but if that is how your shit rolls then you go with it.
why don’t “fuck buddies” work ?
I love this question!! I mean we see all the movies (friends with benefits) and countless numbers of magazines and shit talking about this and you always wonder why it doesn’t work and if that’s not what you’re thinking then I am assuming you are saying to yourself hell no that ain’t me I can pull that off look at me and all my one night stands.
I am the kind of person that is intrigued by the fact that it doesn’t work, I put it down to the fact that humans have hearts and souls and those annoying things called emotions.. if you are a creature that has none of these then please exit left and go back to Azkaban…
if you are a normal human or wizard then you will understand that you have emotions as annoying as that is that in my opinion is what creates the conundrum of fuck buddie failure it is just natural that being in such close proximity of another person you will inevitably be attracted to them especially since in the first place when you start the agreement you are already attracted to them..
How do you keep dates interesting ?
I included this question because I am going to give you a link to the most beautiful blog out there.. LC
Now I see my partner at least once a month for about 1-2 weeks which is heaps of time for us to spend together, some of that time we go shopping our out for cupcakes and meals if you follow my instagram you will find all the gorgeous cupcakes we find.. YUMM!! but we also spend time at home doing 1v1 on COD (call of duty) or shooting up clubs and shit on saints row and GTA which we both love doing or reading, or watching our fave shows together for us as long as we are in each others company it doesn’t really matter what we are doing..
if ya want some more info on dates I think are cool I may make it it’s own post.
Okay so that is all the questions I think I can manage tonight, I am going to go and probs watch some star wars or my little pony and drink hot chocolate because its like 5 degrees and I am freezing.
if you have any cool tips or even stories to add strike up a convo in my comments I’ll be sure to reply
I did not take the feature image incase people freak its from pintrest.